Lauren Baker

Day 30!!! - Post a picture of you today and look to see if you’ve changed at all since 30 days ago. Then write about the highs and lows of the month.

I haven’t really changed lookwise except my hair is faded and I’m not wearing glasses. I have changed mentally though. Getting a pet really made me grow up. I feel responsible and mature and my focus isn’t on me anymore…its on Sage. I work to make her life the best it can be and with that comes a big change in me.

Lows - I lied to my parents about having a kitten, I overspent…a lot, I’ve had a lot of fights happen with..everyone, my entire iphoto library disappeared (3 years worth of pictures), my friendship with my roommate completely diminished, i felt really insecure

Highs - I got my kitten, I finished my first quarter of my Junior year with wonderful grades, I started to build back a relationship with my other roommate, an old friend and I spoke a little bit, I made it to my three year anniversary, i found out miley smokes weed, I completed this thirty day challenge

Day 29 - List 5 things you want to do in your life.

1. climb half dome

2. see the northern lights, the great wall of china, and niagra falls (thats three, i cheated)

3. have more than one child

4. be a big part of the making of a film that at least makes it to sundance…and then hopefully makes it past that…

5. have a true spiritual side to myself…whether that means i believe in God and angels or just a power that drives me…i just want something there that i sincerely have faith in

Day 28 - If you had three wishes, what would they be?

1. Obviously, a million more wishes.

If that wasn’t allowed then…

1. I wish I had a female best friend…and I mean best, best, best, best friend that gets along with all of my other friends

2. I wish I had 10 million dollars

3. I wish my parents would be alive to be a big part in my childrens life

Day 27 - Where is somewhere you would want to visit?

It’s really bugging me how this is worded. Re-do.

Day 27 - Where would you like to visit?

Okay. Obviously I want to go to all the regular places everyone wants to go…Italy, Australia, Alaska, etc. The place that I really want to visit, however, is Africa. Kenya and Tanzania to be exact.

My parents and I planned a trip with my dad’s sister, my uncle, and my cousin when I was in sixth grade. My aunt really wanted to go to Africa for her entire life and after overcoming breast cancer, she realized that she really needed to get there before her life was in danger again. We were supposed to go on a two week safari together in Kenya and Tanzania. We got all of our shots and all of our gear…and about three weeks before we were supposed to go, my aunt’s breast cancer came back. We had to cancel the trip and from then on her illness just got worse. When she passed away a few months later my dad was heartbroken (she was the last of his immediate family members who were left), and seeing him that sad built this fire in my heart to need to do something to celebrate her life.

Because of what happened, I want to go on a trip to Kenya and Tanzania pretty much just to do it because she wanted to go. It would mean a lot to my dad and it would be nice for me to take such a meaningful trip…maybe I’ll even go with my cousin and we can celebrate Judy together.

Day 26 - Write about your best/favorite kiss.

I don’t want to write about this but my memory of it is extremely vivid and makes me queasy because it was just that good.

I’ll leave it to you to imagine who it was with and what it was like on your own.

Day 25 - Write about your first kiss.

My first kiss was during nap time in Kindergarten at Hillbrook School. His name was Andrew Sparks and we were napping next to each other. I leaned over and kissed him.

My obsession with Andrew Sparks began a little while before that but this was definitely the climax of our love. I would write on my coloring pages, class assignments, hands, shoes, legs, and anything else I could possibly mark I <3 Andrew on…and then I’d scribble it out as well as I could.

My obsession continued until second grade when he fell off the slide at Family Fun Night and cracked his head open. Maryam Talieh was there to save him before I was and then he fell in love with her. I lost.

Glad though, cause now instead of Maryam he’s obsessed with nerdy things and is really, really weird.

I remember this one time I went over to his house to play with him and he gave me my first Oreo. That same play date I couldn’t control my bladder and peed in my pants. I sat in the bathroom and cried until my mom got there. Worst day ever.

Day 24 - A time when you hurt someone’s feelings but don’t regret it.

Remember all those posts I had about my roommate back from when i was in new york at hofstra university? I don’t know if I ever wrote about it but she actually texted me a few months after i left. She found the posts (after lurking through 80 or so pages and then send me a text message that was 9 messages long to tell basically tell me that I hurt her feelings. 

I didn’t feel bad. She sucked. I couldn’t wait to get away from her and inside i was glad that she finally got the messages that i whispered to her from across the room when she was sleeping.

Maybe I’m a bad person but hey, we all have that one thing we just don’t feel sorry for.

Day 23 - Post your Tumblr crushes.

1. Clothes: http://cherichictopia.tumblr.com/

2. Fun stuff: http://thedailywh.at/ (is that even a valid url???)

3. Jessie Rae: http://poutiestoftrouts.tumblr.com/

4. Becca: http://beeeee.tumblr.com/

5. LF: http://lfstores.tumblr.com/

6. Electronic Music: http://fuckyeahraves.tumblr.com/

7. Clothes: http://www.sarazucker.com/

8. Hilarious chick I don’t know: http://hoodrat.tumblr.com/

9. Shoes: http://statementshoes.tumblr.com/

Sounds about right, however I’m pretty sure these change pretty often.

Day 22 - Your most prized possession and why.

What a good day for this question. The tiffany necklace jake gave me two years ago today for our 1 year anniversary is my most prized possession. That may sound weird but it really does mean so much to me. If you’ve ever gotten something that was hand engraved from someone you love, whether it was a parent or family member or significant other, you too understand how special it is. 

I wear it every day and actually rarely even take it off. I think that says a lot.

Day 21 - How has your life changed over the past year?

In the past year I’ve fixed the most important relationship to me, lost 3 very close friends, had a very intense internship and lived by myself. I’ve done well distancing myself from people who are toxic to my life but sometimes I’d rather have toxicity than no one at all. I have a new job that will forever change who I am and how prospective jobs see me. I’ve found my passion: film. I’ve found love. I’ve found peace. But despite all these findings, I just keep losing things that mean a lot to me.

I’d say I’m definitely more mature but I’m lonely.

Day 20 - Your favorite childhood memory.

My favorite childhood memory includes Kirstie Williams. There are so many memories it’s hard to think of them on the spot. I remember this one time Kirstie and I thought that her little brother had a crush on me so tried to trick him into kissing me. We took a long piece of butcher paper and drew a picture of me on it. Then we taped it up on the outside of her door and closed it and when we heard him coming, I talked from behind the door and tried to get him to come kiss it.

We were so dumb.

Roly poly city too. Outside of her old house there was an abundance of roly polys and we made up a song called Roly Poly city.

There’s a lot of childhood memories I have but she’s definitely the biggest part of mine. I miss you KW.

Day 19 - Write about your last birthday and how you plan to spend your upcoming birthday.

My last birthday was my 21^st birthday. It began with my boyfriend surprising me with a birthday trip to LA for a 4 day trip to Disneyland. Unbelievable. Then my dad paid for a trip for me and 5 friends to go to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. Real nice, thank you so much dad. The idea was fabulous, but as you know, things don’t always go as planned. I’m not gonna go on talking about this because I’ve put it in the past, but let’s just say this: if someone takes you on a trip for their birthday or even if you’re going out to god damn dinner, don’t be selfish and make any of it about you because its NOT about you. No matter how much the birthday person swears that they don’t mind, they do. They just don’t want you to have a bad time.

People suck.

My upcoming birthday I will most likely pretend isn’t happening. Just kidding, I love birthdays whether they’re mine or anyone else’s. The whole present thing just never really dies down for me. I don’t know what I’ll do but I do know that I’m gonna spend it with people who truly care about me and want to celebrate my birthday with me…and that’s all I’ll need.

Day 18 - Post one confession/secret.

I believed in Santa until I was 13. Luckily I got over it before high school, but don’t judge me for being so gullible for all that time. 

I’m an only child. I didn’t have older siblings to spoil it for me and every time I heard my friends or close family say that Santa wasn’t real, I didn’t believe them. I would act like I knew Santa wasn’t real, but deep down I knew he was. My parents kept me really, really into it. Every year they had this stuffed Santa and if I left it behind for any amount of time, even just leaving the room, I’d come back and he’d had disappeared. I thought it was Santa’s magic. One year we even went out and I was positive my parents hadn’t left my side and when I went back, sure enough, Santa was gone. Santa was real to me.

Then I guess I just grew out of it…but to be honest I never really stopped believing until I heard my parents say that they, themselves, were putting out presents for all those years.

Day 17 - Bullet your day.

• woke up at 730, fell back to sleep
• woke up at 9, nothing to do, fell back to sleep
• woke up at 10, decided i still wanted to sleep
• woke up at 1130.
• watched back to the future
• ate breakfast, let it settle
• went and ran downstairs at my apartment complex’s gym
• came up, showered
• jake came home for break
• that’s all i can write because now i’m going to hang out with him and won’t be on here
• we’ll most likely hang out at his house, go get dinner with either his sister and her girfriend or his mom and then we’ll go see black swan FINALLY!!!

hope you have a good day too!!

Day 16 - Write about your relationship status.

I’m dating the same guy I’ve dated since my senior year in high school (I’m now a junior in college). We’ve been through hell and back these past 3 years. From living 3,000 miles apart for a year to your average relationship problems, we’ve done it all. He’s my other half and my escape from truth, yet at the same time he is the only constant reality. The majority of people I know have some sort of opinion about our relationship. He’s not good enough for me, I’m not good enough for him, it can’t be love with the shit he’s put you through, stop ruining your life and live it before its gone, etc. I’ve heard it all, and frankly, I don’t give a damn.

His name’s Jake. Half of you know him, half of you don’t. Saying that I love him is an understatement. He is my rock; he is my home plate; he is my past and he could be my future. He’s more than just a “current relationship” to me, and it’s nice to know that there are people who follow my blog who understand this completely. If we were to break up, I would be sad and alone, however I’ve learned so much from our time together that I wouldn’t feel a loss, but only a gain. He’ll be there for me no matter what, and that’s more I can say about anyone who I’ve ever called a friend. People abandon you and stop caring about you, but for me, Jake never will. I want you to know that I’m not settling or wasting time…I’m just exploring the world with a guy by my side.